is man free?

[Mamata dash]

Are we free to choose some action or some events in life? Or our choice is pre ordained with some illusion of free will? I am giving an example of my life's tragic event. My husbnad passed away on 7th July 2009. he has been diagnosed as having severe blockages in his major arteries of his heart.. He was admitted to the Appollo Hispital of chennai for by pass surgery.. , referred by the cardilogist. BUt the day before teh opearation the sergeon saw the angiogram and refused to opearte as he thought it wont be beneficial and will be risky. And my husband had a good dream of the Mother coming towards him with a bright candle on her palm. So we thought it is Mother's wish that he wont be opearted and will be on medicines. My daughter who is a doctor ,from that day cunsulted many seregons who told they can opearate and give him a long life. BUt my husband refused , I also did not insist. After 5 yeras again my daughter showed an eminent cardio sergeon who said him to do an angoigram so that he will see if he can opearate. To that my husband did not agree . It was one yaer back.
Then suddenly on Gurupurnima Day on 7th July when we were comong out of the Asharm after meditaion , he fell down on teh road and breathed his last. after meditaion he was looking at Mother's room and standing as if he was saying something. I asked why he is standing he did not tell anything. . Then we went to the Ganesh temple nearby and coming back home. ;
Now my children are feeling guilty and all have some feelings towards me as I did not force him to go for an Angiogram so that we would have known his heart;s condition.'

I can not think now. I thought Mother is protecting him. we were doing yoga and pranayama . staying near Ashram and always with Mother. I could not know before . He was happy.. We were so sure that there is protection.
but .. did he choose death consciously or unconsciouly?? Did I co opearate with his decision? Would he be saved ? Or atleast if we would have known he is really sick we would have taken care of him with love and tendrness?

I feel guilty and confused with an intense angusih. My faith doesnot sustain me now. How can I recocile?

[Barindranath Chaki]

Dear Mrs. Dash

When someone surrenders before The Mother, it is Her will that is the Final. She knows whatever the best is for the person concerned.

The passing of Dr. Dash is indeed glorious! Just before his passing away, he meditated before the Samadhi and then had a silent communion with The Mother in The Ashram itself.

He himself was a doctor and he must have realized what the condition of his health was. And then he was a sincere follower of The Mother. He will surely have a better birth, with a physical body more developed and prepared for the Journey towards The New Creation.

Whatever has happened, The Mother knew it and Her Grace is ever there with Dr. Dash. None of you should blame yourselves! I feel you all are undergoing a lot of mental and emotional turbulence and pain. You must be feeling that a catastrophe has fallen upon all of you! But be sure, The Mother has delivered Her child from a possibility of more suffering and pain, which we don’t know!

The physical death does not put an end to the Love and Companionship that you have with Dr. Dash. Death is not yet conquered, but we can conquer the effects of Death upon us! We should try to fight out all the shadows that the death of a very dear one can cast upon us.

I would request you to rise up, Mrs. Dash, and rise above all the sad and sorrowful effects that are upon you! May the Soul of the departed person rest in peace! If you continue yourself to be unhappy, the departed soul will also be unhappy!

Let us remember always what The Mother has said :

Courage! Hearken to the lesson that the rising sun brings to the earth with its first rays each morning. It is a lesson of hope, a message of solace. You who weep, who suffer and tremble, who dare not expect an end to your ills, an issue to your pangs, behold: there is no night without dawn and the day is about to break when darkness is thickest; there is no mist that the sun does not dispel, no cloud that it does not gild, no tear that it will not dry one day, no storm that is not followed by its shining triumphant bow; there is no snow that it does not melt, nor winter that it does not change into radiant spring.

May there be absolute Peace and Grace of The Mother upon you and your children!

Barindranath Chaki
02-08-2009

[kalpana]

Please accept my heartfelt condolences. I hope our words will be of help. For those of us who say we put our faith and trust in the Mother, in the Divine, at times like this, the challenge is to keep our aspiration and trust that whatever happens, the Mother is there to guide our souls. Having also experienced painful losses, I can only say that it is easier if one can just surrender- even one's feelings of grief and anger.
Your husband had great faith in the Mother. What a blessing that he had that vision and also darshan before his soul moved on. His death was in a very spiritual location, not in some hospital bed, suffering with this and that tube. Mother's protection comes in many forms- we might not appreciate it that time - but later we will see that wisdom. We come as souls into this world alone, and return alone. When I was facing similar situations I had agian read the Bhagavad Gita, which enlightens us on the illusions we hang on to, about life and death. At this time, please be kind to yourself. Mother's Light always!

[Mamata dash]

Dear Mr. cahaki
Your mssage is really inspiring and I know that it is the Truth. but sometimes I feel that nothing will happen Mother is there to guide me and I will get Her work and Grace and manage to live with happiness provided by Her. And another time I feel sad, the reality that i will be alone my whole lfe captures me and I feel down and so ordinary. Now I am in bangalore it seems dr.dash is in pondicherry. But after reaching there after a few days , going to Sri. Aurobindos's room alone on 15th August .. face the realities of responsibility of my life which was always some how depandant on him.. I can not contain myself. I feel lost and lonely and as if my identity is lost.
I know all my friends who are Mother's child are there with me .. but sometimes it seems abstract.. some body says ..
'who are your friend whare aret they? Only in words? No body is there concretely" and after that I feel bad.
I have to recover and gain stregnth perhaps Mother will be with me. Perhaps She will guide me.. Why it seems I do not know?
Thanks a lot Mamata dash

[Mamata dash]

Dera kalpana
Yes, what you have written is very true. Can you tell me , you really had gone through similar kind of experience? I had lost my son when I was only 19 years old. LI lost my fathe whan I was 27 years old, I lost my grand son 6 yeras back. and that was all so different. I got two daughters and my daughter has a son now. But this loss... I am alone .. we were always together and it makes me so sad that I did not know that he will go away. I beleived Mother will make us know. perhaps she had told but we did not listen as we are always amidst the noise of the world. But I feel I should have been more loving to him more intimate with him .. I would have told that we all love him so much. In stead I was always scolding him as he was very careless about his health. He was negligent about all his problesms. Now I feel so sad. BUt sometimes I feel courage but shuld I frget him? I can nt .. then tell me how can I contain him and not forget him? What is the place and level should he be within me?
Thanks a lot fr sharing my anguish . mamata

[Jordi Valero]

Dear Mrs. Dash

Undoubtedly, your husband was stronger than death.
I am sure that he walks hand in hand with Mother through green pastures.
I am sure that the light of God will illuminate his steps.


"Death's grip can break our bodies, not our souls;
If death take him, I too know how to die.
Let Fate do with me what she will or can;
I am stronger than death and greater than my fate;
My love shall outlast the world, doom falls from me
Helpless against my immortality"

( Sri Aurobindo. Savitri Book VI: The Book of Fate Canto I )

[Mamata dash]

Yes I remember now these lines from Savitri. Perhaps I have to read Savitri now. I am really vey much stunned very much confused , can not remember how to have faith . Some body within me even asks .. what is faith? What is reality? It has all becme so vague now. I hope after I go to Ponducherry I shall revive myself and my faith. thank you. Mamta

Jordi Valero said:

Dear Mrs. Dash

Undoubtedly, your husband was stronger than death.
I am sure that he walks hand in hand with Mother through green pastures.
I am sure that the light of God will illuminate his steps.


"Death's grip can break our bodies, not our souls;
If death take him, I too know how to die.
Let Fate do with me what she will or can;
I am stronger than death and greater than my fate;
My love shall outlast the world, doom falls from me
Helpless against my immortality"

( Sri Aurobindo. Savitri Book VI: The Book of Fate Canto I )

[Mamata dash]

Dear Violette
Thank yo for your wisely suggestion about fear and guilt.I also want to know how was your near death experiene. How are you going on in your life? Do you think spirituality has helped you to live with peace in this life ? What is the positive attitude which has sustined your long life till now.My husband wanted to live it semd so.. but he was losing spirit in work since some days. He as bei g detached and thats why I as always annoyed with him. Now I feel so sad fr that. But now.. can he know that I loed him thats why I wanted him to feel energetic and positive?
Mamata

Violette Ruffley said:

I am profoundly grateful to have been invited to this site and I would ask you to have patience with my ignorance regarding your culture and religious beliefs. I most certainly honor you and where you are coming from in what you believe.

I am a Chaplain volunteer with Hospice and am gifted with the opportunity to spend time with patients that are diagnosed as terminal. From my perception this is a patient's time for joyful anticipation to be "going home". It is for those left behind, grieving the loss of a loved one, who find it more difficult to accept that this is a joyful time.

I am now approaching my 83rd year and there are moments when I so yearn to "go home". I frequently wonder where, when and how it will happen. When my last daughter was born I had an experience of going through the tunnel to the light, often referred to in near death experiences, only to exit into an infusion of love beyond agape, so intense I was literally absorbed by it. It was the most intensely beautiful experience with which I have been blessed.

Fear is the very last emotion one should associate with this final chapter of one's life in a body. This vehicle has been very convenient for learning the lessons our soul contracted to learn in this incarnation. We are not privileged to know the soul contracts of another, nor in most cases our own. I should only wish to add, guilt is a terrible putrefying emotion.